How to be Happy? Get good friends!
Happy, Loving Friends make you HAPPY.! Icon from Nuvola icon theme for KDE 3.x. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Clinical Depression (Photo credit: Alaina Abplanalp Photography)
If You REALLY want to be happy, get GOOD friends
But they have to be GOOD friends. They must be sensible, upbeat and most of all, have good intentions towards you. This last one is very important. Because if they hurt your feelings, or if they reject you, it will hurt you just as much as if they had hit you with a punch. Emotional hurt is the same as physical hurt. They both effect the same areas of the brain. The cortex and the dorsal posterior insula, are two very powerful areas of your brain, They are both kicked into action by injury to your body or injury to your emotions. And one is as bad as the other. You wouldn’t let a friend punch you in your face and you mustn’t let them punch you in your feelings.
What should you do?
Friends are very important to your mental and emotional health. You should have as many of them as you can get. But they must be the right type! Loads of research has been done that show that the wrong type of friends can cause you a lot of mental harm. If you find that you are made to feel angry, depressed or upset by your friends, then get rid of them. Get different ones. That is the simple simple solution. It is very easy to say, understand and believe BUT not so easy to do in real life. You must have lots and lots of good friends. Ones that support you, ones that make you feel good and ones that you enjoy being in the company of. You must build up the number of them in your life.
And you must start cutting down on the other type. The ones that are always moaning, make you feel depressed or put you down. Start off with the worse one first. Start spending less time with them. And, if possible avoiding them altogether. This can be very difficult to do. Particularly if they live next door, are members of your family or you are married to them! LOL!
Some people you can’t avoid. You have to teach them how to become better friends. But that will be another another lesson, in an other article and on another day! LOL!
Following the above plan will not only give you better relationships, it will also give you a strong feeling of having more control over your own life and you will develop more self-confidence. You will be happier in yourself and with yourself.
Why will this plan work for me?
Many, many neuroscientist who have examined a large body of work called theFramingham data have found some amazing facts. They found that good behaviours — like quitting smoking or staying slender or being happy —is passed from friend to friend almost in the same way that the ‘flu does. Your health, happiness and even your lifestyle are all linked to your friends and people whom you mix with. If the people you associate have positive attitudes, have healthy lifestyles and are happy, this will tend to rub off on you. You, too, will have positive attitudes, a healthy lifestyles and be happy. Which means that you could (drum roll) become more successful and healthier as well as happier.
The Bad News
The bad news from the Framingham Report is that it works in both directions.And the same was true of all behaviours. You will pick up all sorts of behaviours that are unhelpful, unwanted and even harmful. The Report shows that over and over again. That groups of friends can “infect” each other with being overweight, unhappiness and smoking.
Just so you fully understand this POWERFUL, POWERFUL lesson:
You Want To Be Healthy, Happy And Positive?
Then you must absorb the lessons above. This research is proving that what you achieve in your life, how healthy you are and how happy you feel is strongly linked to the type of people that you mix with. I believe in keeping things very, very simple. Then any message that I give is easy to understand. So here is a simple way to lift your life up to a higher level. Here, again, is how to use these findings.
The Simple Way
Think about all the friends and associates that you mix with. Think about the affects that each of them has on you. Start to spend more time with the ones that have a positive influence on you. Start to spend less time with the people who have a negative influence on you. Keep making steady progress in both areas.
As I said above this is a very simple plan. BUT it can be very hard to follow.
So What Is The Secret Of Success?
Do a little but do it all the time, as and when you can. A very important presupposition of The Happy People is that a SMALL change can make a BIG difference. DO NOT try to make big changes in your life overnight. Make small but steady changes and be determined. Make GENTLE progress. You want to EASE negative people out of your life. Not turn them into eneemies.
Or you could become one of The Happy People and associate yourself with other people who want to have lots of GOOD relationships, be successful and enjoy every moment of their lives. It’s totally FREE. Just follow this blog. Easier still follow it by email.
More soon, Love, Peace and Happiness.
Tommy
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